Death does NOT smell good. … [Read more...]
Archives for June 2015
Mom
I'm sitting in one of the three last places Mom and I sat to have our last real conversations. I feel at peace. But not completely. Just got a return call from the crematorium. Talking to them about this is weird and won't ever stop being so. The ants aren't here anymore. It's too fucking hot out here. I knew the god awful heat was an omen. Nobody likes this shit. … [Read more...]
Life
The body's only response to anything is to live. To keep going. Breathing is as innate as anything on this earth. Even when the soul gives up or moves on, the body just...lives. That's its job. It has no other. From a pure curiosity perspective, it is amazing. I wish right now the body would cease. … [Read more...]
Filling Out Mortuary Paperwork
I'm doing something today that I don't want to do. This brings a certain uneasy finality to an unfinished, but inevitable outcome. I'm filling out mortuary paperwork. Mom doesn't want to be buried. She wants to be cremated. She also doesn't want a ceremony. Now, I have to find the humor in this - I'm using an online crematory recommended by the hospice chaplain. So, … [Read more...]
Life is Fucked
Or, Yin Can Suck My Yang Mom is very near the end. I keep saying--and thinking--this, but I can't see how she can go on much longer. She's on heavy pain medication. All her medications that were helping the dementia have been stopped, and she can barely swallow even the smallest pills. So now everything is in liquid form. I found out today that she's stopped drinking … [Read more...]