Today sucked. I put my mom in hospice care.
I had only heard of hospice in passing before my mom and I started on this journey. It’s her journey – I just feel like I’m riding along with her, mostly unwilling but fully aware of what’s going on before me.
Hospice connotes very negative things, chief among them is imminent death. Because that’s what it is – when a doctor has determined that a patient’s prognosis is terminal (death within 6 months), hospice care is put on the table among the options available for a person’s last days on Earth.
It’s weird talking to strangers about the finality of my mom’s future. I mean, we all know it’s coming, some day, but talking in such nuts and bolts terms to total strangers is just weird.
But then again, everybody’s a stranger until you get to know them.
Of course, I feel like shit because I feel like I’m the one making these decisions for Mom (because she can’t – and wouldn’t even if she could). It’s a heavy burden I wouldn’t want anybody else to have to bear, but bear it I do.